⭐⭐⭐⭐ So yeah, I was so pumped up to read this that I queued up all the Alien movies in my mom’s Disney+ account. I then had a bit of a panic because I promised a hot date night to this girl I met on Tinder. After a few deep breaths, and a couple shots of whiskey, I was back at ease though. Chicks like aliens, right? I’ll just combine the two! So, I grabbed…Keep reading
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ So yeah, I wasn’t expecting to like this one. Sure, there’s a robot, and I fucking love robots, but a tea monk? A tea monk and I would be on the distant ends of a personality spectrum. I’m pounding shots of tequila before hopping on a mechanical bull in an attempt to impress some babes at the bar. A tea monk is steeping an improvised tea blend while sitting on some soft cushions in…Keep reading
⭐⭐⭐ So yeah, is fuck fest one word or two? Maybe it’s hyphenated. I’m going to go with one word because I like it, fuckfest. It’s like a huge music festival up in the mountains where everyone takes a bunch of shrooms, dresses up like animals, and listens to EDM. But with fucking. I suppose there’s a lot of that at those music festivals too. I wouldn’t really now because the one time I went,…Keep reading
⭐⭐⭐⭐ So yeah, bit of a confession to start us off here dudes. I didn’t read the second book in this series, Driving the Deep. So, reading this one was a little like when you’re at a hockey game and go to the bar for the intermission and there’s a couple pretty babes that you start flirting with. Next thing you know you’ve crushed a few beers, the girls walk off with some meathead jabronis,…Keep reading
⭐⭐⭐ So yeah, gather around friends and family, find a spot beside the bonfire to keep warm. Get a marshmallow to roast as ol’ Uncle Casey tells you a scary story of the goat man while the fire keeps away all the creepy creatures of the night. That’s the vibe I got from this book dudes. Except sub out friends and family with a posse of Judges, the bonfire with flaming rain, the creatures of…Keep reading
⭐⭐⭐⭐ So yeah, I started this one after playing a ton of spikeball with the boys down by the lake. I won most of the games, no big deal or anything. I did crush a pack of mango white claws and reading after that was a bad idea, bros. You need all your mental faculties operating at full tilt for this one. I was trying to wrap my brain around this elaborate universe and my…Keep reading
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ So yeah, this little novella packed one hell of a punch. Like we’re talking a Bruce Lee one-inch punch here. What’s this wee guy going to do here? Then WHAM, you’re halfway across the room on your ass trying to put your ribs back in place. Fuck me! Our main gal Amahle is a Light Chaser, and no bro, it’s not what you drink after a tequila shot. Via genetic modifications and time dilation…Keep reading
⭐⭐⭐⭐ So yeah, I love me a good novelette. It’s like a pre-game to get you hyped up to read more and more. Dudes, I actually read this whole story while I pre-gamed before going to TGI Fridays for loaded potato skins, boozy slush drinks, and flirt with the bartenders. It was pretty dead in there but I guess that’s normal for a Monday night. Anyways, these three planets in the outer regions of conquered…Keep reading
⭐⭐ So yeah, I had this brief phase where I’d talk like a 1920s gangster after having a few drinks. “waaah, don’t taze me, coppah!”, “you damn dirty rat, you took my jaeger bomb, seeee”, and so on. I loved it and everyone else hated it, especially the chicks. What sort of dame doesn’t like being belittled? Hmm… I suppose that makes sense now, I was being a huge dick. Ok, anyways, after a severe…Keep reading
⭐⭐⭐ So yeah, I’ve always been a fan of Tarzan probably because I like ripping off my shirt and yelling “AAAAHHHHHUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH”. Always a hit at house parties but I won’t be doing that one at mimosa brunch again. Last time I tried to swing off this lattice arch and knocked over a table with like 30 champagne flutes. Doused my aunt Susan in OJ and now she avoids me at Christmas. Whatever Susan, not like…Keep reading
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