Black Magick, Vol. 3: Ascension I – Greg Rucka & Nicola Scott


So yeah, is fuck fest one word or two? Maybe it’s hyphenated. I’m going to go with one word because I like it, fuckfest. It’s like a huge music festival up in the mountains where everyone takes a bunch of shrooms, dresses up like animals, and listens to EDM. But with fucking. I suppose there’s a lot of that at those music festivals too. I wouldn’t really now because the one time I went, I took something weird and ending up talking to a tree for the entire weekend. Is that what Wicca is like? Because sign me up, I had a blast! 

Anyways, this volume takes place during Beltane which I assume is Wiccan for fuckfest. Witches banging witch hunters, witches banging witches, witch cops banging non-witch cops, demons wanting to bang witches, holy fucking hell… I love some ass and titties, with some big dong thrown in (for purely comparative reasons), but time and place bro. I already frequent several websites on a daily basis for that kind of content. While sex and nudity is always appreciated, this was a little overboard.

Maybe Rucka was on a huge dry spell due to Covid quarantines when he wrote this volume. Don’t worry bro, we’ve all been there. I myself have frequent dry spells and it creeps into my work too. That said, I am an accountant and a lot of questions get raised when all of my numbers contain 69. Casey, what’s our earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation, and amortization for the past quarter? “Umm yeah… it’s $69,069.” What’s wrong with you boy?

Yeah, I’m probably blowing this up a bit but that was my main takeaway from this volume. It’s not like it was an endless orgy, but not much else took place, so that was the part you remembered most. I guess what I mean is that the story had no meat on the bones, but there’s meat on that dude’s bone, if you know what I mean. Dong, I mean there’s dong.

The story just plods along with pouty Rowan stalling over the big choice she needs to make. Does she accept who she truly is and unleash her full ultra badass bitch witch power? Maybe… Blonde Gozer the Gozerian and that creepy child demon with the sewed shut mouth are back. Dudes, I’m man enough to say this, she literally scares the shit out of me! I’m going to need to crush a two-sixer of whiskey so I don’t have nightmares about that little freak tonight. Gives me the god damn heebie jeebies.

All that said, the art is fucking top notch! The black and white illustrations with the magic aspects in colour just fucking pops! Haunting bros! Such a big fan over here.

Anyways, that’s about all I got. Adios amigos!

Pick yourself up a copy at Image Comics.

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